Best Way Improve yourself

HOW TO APPROACH STRESS TRIGGERS TO SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

Our hot buttons get pushed all the time. People offend us, situations don’t turn out as we hope, and we get triggered. 

Triggers overwhelm us and throw us off our axis. Why? Because in triggering moments we are suddenly flooded with fear-based thoughts, emotions, and sensations which send us into ‘reactive’ mode.

We tend to react to triggers with judgment and blame. We come to see them as the source of our pain and problems, and the very reasons why we can’t get what we want. 

In doing so, we become victims. We see life as something that happens to us—and success as a matter of luck. That, in turn, is how we make our lives into a struggle and take on the identity of “the failure.”

Lean into your triggers

When someone tells you to turn your obstacles into opportunities, do you feel briefly inspired and then confused as to how that can happen? Or perhaps you get triggered by what sounds like oversimplified advice?

The advice isn’t oversimplified. Justifying our reactive feelings and thoughts as right—and dismissing the inherent value of the trigger is how we complicate life. Rather, we need to be curious about our triggers and observe what they reveal about us in terms of false beliefs.

Triggers are simply a mirror. Even the ones we want to dismiss as petty can point to the false beliefs that hold us back from success. Each trigger that pops up is an opportunity to see something within us that needs our attention and reconciliation so we can actually achieve our goals.

How do we know that triggers are never the cause of our failures? Because two people encountering the exact same trigger can react very differently to it. One person might explode while someone else will walk on by like nothing happened. 

It’s never about the trigger. It’s about what makes us individually predisposed to reacting to it with painful thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It’s about our subconscious false beliefs.

Our false beliefs are truly the only thing standing between us and what we want. We often think that having the right strategy is the key to success. However, a strategy only works if it is backed by supporting beliefs that speak to our full potential and worth. 

In addition, it is usually the case that multiple strategies will work, but in the absence of supportive beliefs, none of them will deliver results.

I once worked with a woman who struggled to monetize her creative projects. Her creations were absolutely brilliant and lacked nothing in terms of quality and substance. She promoted her work time and again using various outlets, but no matter how hard she tried, for years she could not make a sale. 

And then one day she began to diligently zoom in on her triggers. Whether it was her husband’s snide remarks, the rude customer in the checkout line, or the disturbing dream, she explored each trigger until she discovered the false belief that was the very source of her reactivity.

Within a matter of weeks, she discovered the very essence of most of her triggers. A false belief that nothing is good enough, which she neutralized as soon as she acknowledged it. By tracking her triggers for a couple of months she was ultimately able to identify all of the sneaky self-defeating behaviors that were the real cause of her failure.

Almost immediately, she “magically” stumbled across the precise resources and support she needed to launch her business and is now well on her way to financial freedom.

On the surface, we may want something badly while overlooking the sabotaging monsters that lie within us. Underneath our desires, we are likely to find limiting beliefs that are running the show and dictating the outcomes. When these are brought to light, we create the space to make new, empowering choices that actually improve our circumstances.

We pay a high cost for ignoring the reflections given off by our triggers. We relive failure over and over and the losses become greater. 

The remedy is to appreciate that stress triggers almost always point to an aspect of self that needs healing, and know that everything is here to help us grow. This mindset shifts us out of reactive-victim mode and into responsive-creator mode.

That is how we line ourselves up with exactly what we need at the exact time we need it, and success becomes an inevitable reality.

Bianca Finkelstein is the CEO of High-Rise Soul Academy and helps aspiring thought leaders use their intuition and discover their worth.

It’s honestly devastating’: Bucks County dries off and starts to repair after 100-year flood

After massive flooding last week damaged more than 1,100 homes and businesses in lower Bucks County, officials are trying to help people who were displaced, lost property, or now have to repair their homes.There are a lot of them. County leaders are calling the disaster — which primarily affected Bristol township, Bristol borough, and Bensalem township — a 100-year flood.Officials quickly pulled together a recovery center in Bristol Township’s Keystone Elementary School, featuring tables where the Pennsylvania Emergency Management Agency, the Red Cross, county offices, politicians, and local nonprofits could offer resources.Hundreds of people passed through on Tuesday and Wednesday.Brothers Antonio and Trevor Greene, 33 and 28 respectively, and Antonio’s young daughter, Isabella, were among them. They rent a house in Bristol township and live there with Antonio’s wife and other daughter, another nephew, a cat, and two rabbits. When the heavy rain hit last week, they were all on vacation in the Poconos and at first, had no idea how dire the situation was.They returned to find the house uninhabitable.“It was a whole pool inside the house,” Antonio said. “Couldn’t go through the front door because the front yard was all flooded … the house is destroyed.”“It’s honestly devastating,” Trevor added — noting that when Antonio first sent pictures of the damage, he couldn’t believe it. “Literally I had to take my shoes and socks off, walk through, it was up to my knees.”The family has been living in a hotel. Antonio, who is a real estate agent, says he already has a couple leads on new apartments but nothing is finalized yet. And while finding a permanent place to live is the first item on his family’s agenda, it’s part of a long list.Most of their possessions — their couch, lots of electronics, food — need to be replaced. But although the Greens say they had renters’ insurance through Farmers, Antonio said when he attempted to file a claim, he was told he couldn’t get reimbursed because the flood was considered an “act of god.”“Which is unreal,” Trevor said. “I’m like, who do you believe in?”Their former landlord’s house, Antonio noted, is covered.County officials are directing people who are now homeless and struggling to find new living arrangements to Bucks County Housing Link, which assists people in housing-related crises.On Wednesday, Bucks County commissioners officially voted to put more than $1.2 million from the Bucks Emergency Rental Assistance program into the Bucks County Opportunity Council and the local chapter of the YWCA, so those organizations can expand their services to people whose Red Cross vouchers — which often pay for hotels after disasters — are running out, but who still don’t have a stable place to live.The local chapters of the Salvation Army and United Way have also been helping to coordinate donations to people who need to replace possessions.County officials note they’re trying to make it easy for people to report damage to their homes and property because if the costs climb high enough, they could become eligible for additional state and federal relief.Bucks Emergency Services Director Audrey Kenny said she believes the damage is already great enough that Bucks will get some money from Pennsylvania’s small business administration loan program, which offers low-interest loans to help businesses and individuals recover after disasters.Many people in Bucks aren’t prepared for this kind of disaster, she added, so outside help is going to be important.“We’ve talked to everybody who has reported major damage within their homes, and of those, there were more who did not have flood insurance,” she said, adding that renters have even less protection.Bucks spokesman James O’Malley noted, it’s still not clear if federal help will be in the offing — that bar is higher than the state one.Mike and Alice Ksyniak said they’ll take whatever they can get.The Bristol township couple got more than a foot of water in their basement during the flood and it backed up their plumbing, pushing raw sewage into their house. It’s drying out now, but TK notes with a shudder, it’s starting to mold, and she’s worried the bad air will exacerbate her health issues — “COPD, MD, diabetes, and a bad heart.”The couple, aged 69 and 65, said they’ve been getting some good leads on people who can help them clean up. But they’re a little more worried about replacing things. Their freezer no longer works, and they’re worried their oil furnace and washer and dryer are on their way out, too.“I can’t afford all that,” Mike said.He grew up in the now-flooded house and has lived there for most of his life. He’s seen the basement take on water before, but notes, he had no idea it could ever get this bad.“Nothing like this,” he said. “This was incredible.”

নবীজির হিকমত

নবিজি হুদাইবিয়ার প্রান্তরে দাঁড়িয়ে সেদিন অনুভব করেছিলেন—কুরাইশদের সাথে এমন একটা সন্ধি জরুরি যা মুসলিমদের জন্য মক্কায় প্রবেশের অবাধ সুযোগ তৈরি করবে। যে সন্ধি মুসলিমদের জন্য ঢাল হিশেবে কাজ করবে এবং মদিনার সাথে মক্কার তৈরি হবে একটা নিরবচ্ছিন্ন যোগাযোগ। ইসলামের সামগ্রিক প্রচার এবং প্রসারের তাগিদেই এমন একটা সন্ধি হওয়া ভীষণ দরকারি। উম্মাহর বৃহত্তর কল্যাণের সামনে নবিজি নিজের স্বীকৃতি কিংবা সাহাবিদের সাময়িক মন খারাপকে বড়ো করে দেখেননি। একজন সত্যিকার নেতার যেমন আবেগ থাকবে, তেমনি বিবেকের জায়গাতেও তাকে পোক্ত হতে হবে দারুণভাবে। নবি-জীবনের অনেক ঘটনায় আমরা তার আবেগঘন অনুভূতির অপূর্ব সব বর্ণনা দেখতে পাই, কিন্তু হুদাইবিয়ার সন্ধিতে আমাদের সামনে উপস্থিত ভিন্ন মেজাজের মুহাম্মাদ সাল্লাল্লাহ্ আলাইহি ওয়া সাল্লাম! সেদিন তার কাছে আবেগ নয়, বাস্তবতার মূল্যই সর্বাধিক। একজন সত্যিকার দূরদর্শী নেতাকে এমনই হতে হয়। তাকে বুঝতে হয় কখন আবেগকে আর কখন বিবেককে প্রাধান্য দিতে হয়।

Introduce Yourself (Example Post)

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

You’re going to publish a post today. Don’t worry about how your blog looks. Don’t worry if you haven’t given it a name yet, or you’re feeling overwhelmed. Just click the “New Post” button, and tell us why you’re here.

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.

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